Why I am going alone
One person on their own is not welcomed the way a film crew is. That is the main reason for this choice.
This piece was written in French. It is here in the original.
When I present the project, the question often comes up: why alone? Some people think of safety, others of money. My reason is mostly a matter of method.
Money and courage
Going with someone else would cost more, that is true. But if a team made the work better, I would look for that money.
People also bring up courage. In fact, I am scared, and I think that is normal once you have understood what you are taking on.
What people say to one person alone
A film crew, with its cameras and interpreters, can be seen from a long way off. People get ready for it: they tidy up, word gets round, someone is chosen to speak. That is human, and what gets filmed afterwards often looks like the version shown to visitors.
One person alone is less of a disturbance. They also have to ask for help: where to sleep, where to find water, who to talk to. Asking builds a connection that a self-sufficient team has no need to build.
“Light equipment is not a budget constraint dressed up as a virtue: it is what lets people talk to me.”
Flavio WTranslated from the French
On my own, I will also have no colleague to discuss the framing with, or to speak French with in the evening. I will have to be there, with people.
What it costs
Going alone also wears you down. Here is what I have identified, in the order I expect to feel it.
What wears you down, in order:
- Constant decisions: where to sleep, who to talk to, when to move on, with nobody to make the call with me.
- No feedback: nobody to say that what I am doing means something. After a few weeks, that counts.
- The constant role: being the stranger who arrives, introduces himself, explains.
- Loneliness, last of all. It comes later than you think, and harder.
To keep going, I am setting up safeguards before I leave: a voice call every week with the same person, at a fixed time; ten minutes of writing every evening; one day in seven with no filming, nothing asked of anyone and nothing published.
I also have a list of warning signs to reread along the way: I stop taking notes in the evening, I put off meeting people for no reason, I film without knowing why. If two of them show up at the same time, I stop for three days.
What I have not checked yet
All of this is written before leaving. It is possible that having no interpreter closes more doors than travelling light opens, or that after a few weeks I find out I needed someone. If that happens, I will write it here.
What I want to find out is how going alone changes what people are willing to tell me.
